Jaunt to the North – Skeg-VEGAS

I awoke in Mablethorpe (despite being sandwiched between two rather large – 6ft 4 to be exact – chaps) very happy indeed – I had spent the previous evening bowling, eating fish & chips & drinking pints in the pub.

Day two was equally as exciting – much of the same magical merriment with included country walk & an evensong service at a local church. The unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate, depending on how one views such things) we went from the first activity to the other without the opportunity to get changed in the interim & I therefore turned up to the the church service in my walking attire – namely my brand new hoodie with the pink fluorescent word SWAG across the chest. Swag in the house of God..I guess it has a sort of ring to it.

I managed to keep myself somewhat hidden until the end of the service when the most enthusiastic woman who’s surname – no joke – was TOOGOOD came bounding up to me in utter excitement that a group of youths were at a church who’s regular congregation was predominantly over the age of 70. It thus transpired that for the week she was the official Church of England ‘tweeter’ & I therefore had to pose – SWAG hoodie in full view – for her evening tweet. Yes my friends, I am now world famous in the twitter world of the Church of England. How ideal.

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On the final day I awoke in sadness at the prospect of leaving slot machine paradise. I tried not to moan too much about this, but rather adopted a glum & downcast expression until the boys suggested we go to Skegness in advance of our train for a final fix of seaside tack. My frown was turned upside down, as you can imagine.

Skegness, or more commonly known – Skeg-VEGAS – really felt just like Vegas (although perhaps a little more chilly)..In the best possible way, of course. I was so taken with the place I almost suggested a slap-dash wedding with the man who sold me a bag of popcorn in Skegness market. However, before I could propose, I was swept off my feet by my companions who had ‘the best surprise’ for me: a cafe called ‘The Coffee Owl’. Yes, my friends, an owl cafe.

It was magical: owl-shaped cupcakes & chocolate tarts, owl-shaped chocolate powder sprinkled on coffee foam, owl paintings & photographs on the walls and so on. It really was such a hoot. As a result of this wonderful spot, we understandably almost missed our train – but I’m sad to say we did hop on it just in the nick of time & I’m back from the North with a bouncy ball, panda bear stickers & mind full of happy memories of bowling. Indeed, this help to carry me through those tough days were all I want is to watch my 2p coins fall through a slot into a pit of their identical friends…

Jaunt to the North – Mablethorpe

Doesn’t a jaunt to Mablethorpe sounds rather appealing to you? Yes? YES? Um, no? Well, it’s a YES from me, that’s for sure.

I have a real love or seaside towns. One might assume this is because of the ‘sea’ aspect & of course one would half be right – however for me, much of the appeal is in the ‘SIDE part – all that dwells beside the sea.

By that I mean the tack, the tatty & the tacky. The more tacky, the more wonderful, in my opinion (& I’m sure in your opinion too, right?). So in order to find tackiness at it’s finest, I schemed with my chums Ben & Hector to visit Andrew who works as a vet in Mablethorpe.


We went under the guise of visiting Andrew to provide him with some entertainment for the weekend, but of course the main attraction for me was the promise of Bingo, slot-machines, bowling & bright blue ice-cream.

Our journey consisted of trains & buses & so by the time we arrived we were desperate to get to the beach. We picked up beers & £1.57 towels from Co-op (the finest quality, of course). Andrew cheekily took us to a very attractive spot – I couldn’t let on that I was there solely for the tacky parts, so decided to embrace the beauty & jump around with the others.


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After our 1 second swim it was time to take on the town, what a joy! £1 shops, chippies & arcades lined the streets & I quite frankly had the time of my life in awe & wonder at all the bizarre things. I got straight to purchasing myself a SWAG hoodie (which aptly says WAG when my hair sweeps down my shoulder in a certain way) & felt thoroughly happy indeed.

We bought fish & chips & watched the sun rapidly fall below the sea & headed onwards to the arcade to try our luck on the slot-machines…

…Those pesky games! They draw you in with promise of shiny plastic prizes & eat all your money! Alas, I persisted & after a heated game of bowling we had just enough tickets to win a set of panda stickers & a bouncy ball.

I understandably felt very smug indeed.

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